Doggie Doo Doo

With Rick Sanctimonious broke and busted flat in Pennsylvania, the presidential election campaign has finally started to deal with real issues of importance to the American people.

The issue is---dogs--and how to treat (or eat) them.

Again, as always, the answer to the question of "who started this" or “who let the dogs out?”  is--- the biased elite media[1], of course. (Listen here.)

Poor (metaphorically speaking, of course) Etch-a-Sketch and Ann Romney are trying doggedly to disentangle themselves from Shamusgate. This is what the elite media establishment calls the trouble the Romneys got into when they joked about how their dog, Shamus, pooped and threw up all over the roof of their station wagon after being tied up there on a road trip. Ann made things worse when she told ABC News that Shamus actually liked it up there and rarely vomited or pooped up there during their trips.

Etch-a-Sketch tried making light of it, but he finally decided to change the subject after the first few weeks of Shamusgate. He did make some effort to clean up the mess by saying that he personally wiped off the car and let Shamus come inside for the rest of the trip. Finally shifting to the attack, he started claiming that he was a better dog person than Hopey-Changey because Obama was brought up eating dog meat in Kenya.or maybe it was Indonesia, whatever foreign country he was born in. Hopey Changey also ate grasshoppers according to his autobiography.

Whatever weird insects and animals Hopey ate as a kid, the big damage was done by Etch a Sketch's cartop doggie carrier. And by the fact that he admitted to Diane Sawyer that he got rid of the dog entirely when he realized that it was going to continue to shit on his car roof.

Can Etch-a-Sketch recover?

Very doubtful.

When vivid images such as an image of a freaked-out little doggie being tied up and driven on a station wagon roof rack at 65 miles an hour--and then abandoned--are implanted in the subconscious of the populace at large, it is damned hard to extract that and undo the damage.  It does not help that the cartoonists love the whole thing. Same with the late-night comedy shows.

Etch and the Family with Shamus Atop

It also does not help much when organizations like the ASPCA and the Humane Society and the People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals are demanding an investigation, an apology, a mea culpa, and that Shamus be placed in foster care.

Another question also has not been answered by the Romney family: Do they leave Shamus on top of the car when the car is taken upstairs in their car elevator? This mystery--together with his secret Cayman and Swiss bank accounts and refusal to disclose his taxes--is raising enough issues to make a stinking stew of trouble for Etch-a-Sketch.

The animal rights folks are not a good group to piss off in election season. It could be as bad as pissing off the National Rifle Association—which is—as we all know—TERMINAL--for any politician.

Hopey-Changey may be the bail out king and a tool of Wall Street, but he is no slouch when it comes to down-and-dirty Chicago politics. He recovered the fumble by Etch-a-Sketch and is running down field with it, churning out picture after picture of his pooch, Bo, being lovingly caressed on the porch of the White House, in the White House yard, in his office, anywhere and everywhere.

Fox News and other right-wing media outlets know what to do when trouble like this arises: quickly shift the frame--focus on something else and go on the attack. Without much recent red dog meat in the news to use against Hoepy-Changey, they went back to the birth certificate scandal, running a long series of shows on how Obama forged his birth certificate to make it look like he was not really born in Kenya (or Indonesia or whatever foreign country he was in at that time.)

This birth certificate thing is a good move which will definitely work because polls show that 47.5% of American voters already believe that Obama was born in Kenya and is a hard core evangelical Muslim. The polls also show that this is exactly the same group that believes Elvis is still alive.  

So those foxy Foxers are onto a pretty darn good strategy there.

But it might not be enough. Dog lovers don’t forget doggie abuse quickly.
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[1] The "elite" media is large, widespread, powerful, and mostly owned by Rupert Murdoch. It includes people like Sean Hannity, Joe Scarborough, Bill O'Reilly, Pat Buchanan, Rush Limbaugh, Glenn Beck, Mike Huckabee, G. Gordon Liddy, Laura Ingraham, Fred Hiatt, Matt Drudge, Charles Krauthammer, William Kristol, Phyllis Schlafly, Brit Hume, David Brooks, Peggy Noonan, George Will, Michael Savage, Michael Reagan, Tom Donahue, Ann Coulter, John Stossel, and many others, anyone in fact who follows the great American philosopher, Ayn Rand. 




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