To my legions of devoted readers, I apologize for the recent
silence of the blog. I was too depressed to write.
It is depressing to realize that, in this world of money takers
and money makers, as an old retired person with no Wall Street connections, I could
easily fall into the wrong group: the 47%, of the populace composed of slackers
and parasites. This worthless 47% are sick people, poor people, college
students, minimum wage types, good-for-nothing low wage earners,
disabled veterans, and old geezers with dementia. They are the “money takers.” They are income redistributors sucking the
economic lifeblood out of America, living off the hard work of billionaire
bankers, oil company CEOs, Wall Street traders, and hedge fund managers (the “money makers”).
The icing on the cake for me was finding out that the next
President of the United States says that he doesn’t even care about me and
other 47 percent of America who are takers.
I could not locate any money to take. …so I took to the bottle.
The only encouraging part of the 47% news was the revelation
about Mark Leder. Leder is the private equity fund billionaire who hosted of the
exclusive party at which Romney made his 47% pronouncement. Leder is best known, according to the magazine
that broke the story[i],
for his extravagant parties featuring nude Russian models and live sex![ii]
So far, I have been unsuccessful in securing an invitation
to one of Leder’s live sex parties. If
anyone knows how I could get an invitation, please help me out. My lips will be sealed--I promise--about what
Romney might say at the party about percentages or whatever else. I am also willing
to participate in any way I can in the entertainment.
Live sex parties are part of American exceptionalism. Check it out on wikipedia. Condi Rice based her foreign policy on exceptionalism
and boasted about it at the recent convention. The basic idea of exceptionalism
is that because we Americans are better than anyone else, we get to do whatever
we want.
Mormons especially know all about exceptionalism.[iii]
A basic Mormon belief is that Jesus, the only begotten son of god, actually
came to America and did not go to any other non-exceptional modern nations. This
is only one of many fascinating Mormon
beliefs.
Exceptionalism distinguishes America from all other nations.
Less exceptional nations run their
systems on corruption, socialism, communism, hero worship, religious
fundamentalism, confusion, and other false ideologies, that prevent small
businesses from doing whatever they want to do to create jobs.
On the other hand, America was ordained by God to teach
other nations how to run their affairs. We have all the answers, and that makes
us exceptional.
So don’t go around like Obama apologizing for America when
we have to burn up a few Korans or kill small children in far away villages with
drones. We have to do things like that sometimes to get nonbelievers to
recognize our exceptionalism. The essence of being exceptional is being able to
get away with doing whatever you want.
As an exceptional nation, we are obligated to teach benighted
nations how to run their affairs and elect leaders. It is no good to keep burning
down foreign consulates, shooting diplomats, and throwing bombs. We need to
teach these misguided fledgling nations how to discuss politics in a more
rational and non-threatening way. People on opposite sides should go out and
have a beer together, like Tip O’Neill and Ronald Reagan used to do.
One way we could help out would be to send other countries examples
of how American democracy works. For example, we could show them how Americans
who disagree with the President’s view express their own opinions in a friendly
way. One way we do it is by staging mock lynchings of the President, as
reported recently by NBC
News.
Or if
someone in a political debate disagrees with you, you can say to him or her, as
American political spokesman Bill whittle recently said:
“If such a thing [referring to Whittle’s
view] is not self-evident to you…. I should tell you I own a gun and I know how
to use it. I assure you that the pleasure I would take in shooting you would be
temporary, minimal, and deeply regretted later.”
Another way
to show young democracies how to debate politics in a rational way would be
to show them some of our inspiring educational political signs, such as this
one:
If none of
that works, we could teach them how to prevent worthless slackers without
driver’s licenses from messing things up by voting, as we are now trying to do in
Pennsylvania, Florida, South Carolina, Wisconsin, and Texas.[iv]
It’s our
manifest destiny. Let’s get busy and spread our exceptional American democracy to the world.
[i]
Mother Jones magazine. Leder owns Sun Capital, a private equity firm in Boca Raton,
Florida, and is part owner of the Philadelphia Sixers.( See note 2 below).
[ii] If
you are a sick prurient type of individual like me, you can read all about Mark’s
sexploits in the Philadelphia
Enquirer.
[iii]
For a surprising theory about the curious connection between Mormonism and American
exceptionalism, see the article in the NY
Times here by Simon Crichley entitled “Why I love Mormonism”.
[iv]
See the article on America’s past and current history of disenfranchisement in
the Huffington
Post.
No comments:
Post a Comment